Limited-Edition 12-inch Vinyl (140 gram) // All records are pressed on clear vinyl with opaque blood red swirled in. 

SIDE A

Rather Murder Myself
Rather murder myself than drink this garbage.
Rather muder myself than drink this

Dumbest fucking product I have ever seen.
Dumbest fucking product
Just drink bleach.
Dumbest fucking product I have ever seen.
Dumbest fucking product
Just drink bleach.
Just drink bleach.
Drink bleach
Just drink bleach.

Rather murder myself
Rather murder myself
Rather murder myself
Rather murder myself than drink this garbage.

Think It’s Funny to Joke About Eternal Damnation?
You think it’s funny to joke about eternal damnation?
You guys need Jesus immediately.
Do you really want this on your consciences?
How disgusting!
What are you thinking?

Just making fun of something that the devil does.
Make it all nonchalant and anyone will do it.
Just saying, satan isn’t stupid.
Will do it
Just saying, satan isn’t stupid.
Will do it
Just saying, satan isn’t stupid.

This is definitely not a joke...
This is definitely not a joke...
This is definitely not a joke...
This is definitely not a joke...

Blood Everywhere?????
How about a “good” influence on teenagers?
Have you ever heard of that?
There are sooooo many kids out there
Have you ever heard of that?
Have you ever heard of that?
Have you ever

Blood everywhere?????
Blood everywhere?????
Blood everywhere?????

Good Try, Devil
Good try devil but your product is for the birds.
Good try devil but your product is for the birds.

You’re trying to get these lonely ass atheists
To bond over canned water.
I can’t believe Satanism is promoted by this company!

Good try devil but your product is for the birds.
Good try devil but your product is for the birds.

If suffering for all eternity for a case of water
Is all you wanna do,
then there’s just no use reasoning with any of ya’ll.
Lord Have Mercy...

LOL
LOL
LOL

I don’t know if it’s beer, joining a satanic cult, water,
Or some kind of death mountain country club…
I can’t believe Satanism is promoted by this company!

Good try devil but your product is for the birds.
Good try devil but your product is for the birds.
I could crap something more humorous than this dumb ad.
Cursing don’t appeal to young people.
Cursing don’t appeal to young people.

Good try devil but your product is for the birds.
Good try devil but your product is for the birds.

I Thought This Was Alcohol
I thought this was alcohol.
I ain’t selling my soul for no fucking water.
For no fucking water
I thought this was alcohol.
I ain’t selling my soul for no fucking water.
For no fucking water

For no fucking water
No fucking water
For no fucking water
No fucking water
For no fucking water
No fucking water
For no fucking water

Heavy Metal Hipsters
I’ve been in beverage business for 27 years
Grab a can of Liquid Death before it disappears.

27 years
27 years
27 years
Grab a can before it disappears.

Forever
Forever like so many others
Forever
Forever like so many others

That’s probably thrilling to your investors.
Water for heavy metal hipsters.

Remove the Ad
You fucks are saying water kills more than energy drinks. I will report you to all the government officials if you do not take down your falsified info. The public is way too gullible to not believe that shit. So once again, remove the ad, and notify me, and I won’t drive your business into the ground for spreading false information and brainwashing.

Insensitive, offensive, completely unsuitable
Insensitive, offensive, completely unsuitable
Insensitive, offensive, completely unsuitable
Insensitive, offensive, completely unsuitable

SIDE B

Your Product is Dumb
Fuck off your product is dumb.
Canned water for dumbasses.
Buy another affliction shirt or this stupid water?
Decisions… decisions…
Decisions… decisions…

Fuck off your product is dumb.
Canned water for dumbasses.
Buy another affliction shirt or this stupid water
Decisions… decisions…
Decisions… decisions…
Decisions… decisions…

Unnecessary and Unimpressive
What the hell?
Who came up with this crap?
This bullshit is for single dads.
What coke head green lit this idea?

Unnecessary and unimpressive.
Unnecessary and unimpressive.
Looks like a can of Miller Lite designed by a meth head.
Unnecessary and unimpressive.

What the hell?
Who came up with this crap?
This bullshit is for single dads.
What coke head green lit this idea?

Unnecessary and unimpressive.
Unnecessary and unimpressive.
Looks like a can of Miller Lite designed by a meth head.
Unnecessary and unimpressive.
That was pretty unnecessary and unimpressive.
That was pretty unnecessary and unimpressive.

Fuck Your Ads
I don’t need your bullshit! So piss off!
I don’t need your bullshit! So piss off!
I don’t need your bullshit! So…
I don’t need your bullshit! So…
I don’t need your bullshit! So piss off!
X2

Fuck your ads! Fuck your ass! Fuck you! Piss off!
Fuck your ads! Fuck your ass! Fuck you! Piss off!

I don’t need your bullshit! So piss off!
Fuck your ass! Piss off!
I don’t need your bullshit! So piss off!
Fuck your ass! Piss off!

I don’t need your bullshit! So piss off!
Fuck your ads! Fuck your ass! Fuck you! Piss off!

I don’t need your bullshit! So piss off!
Fuck your ads! Fuck your ass!
Fuck your ads! Fuck your ass!
Fuck your ads! Fuck your ass!
Fuck you! Piss off!

Stop This Trash
By all means don’t sell your soul for a profit,
Just give it to jesus. Logic….
We’re going to do everything we can
To stop
To stop
To stop this trash!

We’re going to do everything we can to stop this trash!
To stop
To stop this trash! Just Wait!
Just Wait!
Just Wait!
Just Wait!

Another Contribution to a Very Sick Culture
Another contribution to a very sick culture.
Syphilis, gonorrhea, and the flu!
Sounds like poison.
Sounds like poison.
Syphilis, gonorrhea, and the flu!

Another contribution to a very sick culture.
Syphilis, gonorrhea, and the flu!
Sounds like poison.
Sounds like poison.

Syphilis, gonorrhea, and the flu!

Syphilis, gonorrhea, and the flu!
Syphilis, gonorrhea, and the flu!
Syphilis, gonorrhea, and the fucking flu!

Liquid Lame-O
Guys it’s fucking water c’mon
This has got to be the absolute worst,
Advertising for water ever.
Like, forever ever.

This is by far, without question,
The dumbest thing that I have ever seen.
Like, forever ever.
10/10 will avoid
Thanks, soon to be unemployed marketing guys!
Like, forever ever.

Like, forever ever.
Like, forever

Definitely Not Buying
My husband and I just saw your advertisement on the TV
The fact that someone believed this was a good idea is baffling.
I don’t understand this marketing?
Definitely not buying!

This is so bad. This is so bad.
This is beyond stupid.
I hate your ad
This is so bad. This is so bad.
This is beyond stupid.
I hate your ad

Worst. Ad. Ever.
Worst ad ever

Everything about this sucks so bad
This is so bad. So bad.
This is beyond stupid.
Worst. Ad. Ever.
I hate your ad

Another contribution to a very sick culture
Just saying, satan isn’t stupid.
I ain’t selling my soul for no fucking water.
I will report you to all the government officials.
Don’t sell your soul for a profit.
Water for heavy metal hipsters.
This bullshit is for single dads.
Fuck your ads! Fuck your ass! Fuck you! Piss off!
Looks like a can of Miller Lite designed by a meth head.
Rather murder myself than drink this garbage.
Good try devil but your product is for the birds.
Canned water for dumbasses.